Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm always down for nudity.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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