okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
