she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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