At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
