But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
