so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
