no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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