You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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