like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
