I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
