I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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