If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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