you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
