I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
