WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize