i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
