Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
