You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
