I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
