There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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