Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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