I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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