fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
