never play flip cup with pint glasses
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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