i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
