So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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