i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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