she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
