literally had 100 drinks last night.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
