i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize