So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
