guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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