i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
