Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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