So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize