Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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