'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This baby is an asshole
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
