nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
