Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
420 ftw
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
did i walk over a car last night?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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