We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
