if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
