That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
