But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
