Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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