I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
