Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
