He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
