Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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