sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
