I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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