it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
