And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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