Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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