just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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