theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize