I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
